"iboughtaplasticbag" for my head.

"see me, notice me don't you wanna know me?"
(or some other mc oriented skit line)

I'm the gayest man alive!

"And I would hereby like to declare myself as candidate for pope!"

"Ladies and Gentlemen,

"Introducing the next generation of Tin Foil Hat: The Plastifoil Hat 2.0!"

(Applause)

"Thank you. Ladies and Gentlemen, the government has created a new method of mind invasion technique. You can usually recognize when the government is trying to invade your mind. Here's how: Look for a yellowish or cream-colored airborne mist or discoloration. Unless you are wearing your Plastifoil Hat, as I am demonstrating here, you run the risk of this mist entering through the ear canal. Once inside, the device will begin transmitting your thoughts to a local government office.

"Our customers asked for a new feature, and we listened! Now if the mind invasion mist enters your head -- that's okay! -- because wearing the 2.0 Plastifoil Hat means transmissions are blocked before they ever leave your skull! That's right!

"From now until February 31st, we are offering a special upgrade price of only...buh buh buh skeezikshmen blarghik hap hap hap saisy wok woo wok woo..."

"And now, my 'new goldfish' impression."

"So I couldn't find a hat, but then I went to put the trash out..."

"I'd like to play a song called 'bubble boy'"

"I'll show you who's full of hot air!"

Does someone want to be my girlfriend? I pay money.